What Does It Feel Like?

What does it feel like to lose something - an iPod, a favourite toy, the best won ton mee stall, whatever - and learn to accept new ones?

This entry might eventually lead to no where. You might say I'm just a guy trying to attract much attention. You might have hit the bullseye.

Still, it's a post I want to do, and get people to think, if you want to.

The past 19 years, and a couple of months on top of that, have seen me gain much, and lose much. Stuff you lost as a kid, were probably insignificant. Even things you lost now, might not be all that important.

I've lost much, as I mentioned. Toy cars which I'd said from young I'd keep forever; forgotten memories, that's ironical; lessons learnt, I don't keep them.

From these losses, have I gained from them? People always say when you lose some, you gain some (opposite for pessimists). I don't see what I have gained, other than fear in accepting, frightened to step into a closed room, never ventured before. What's behind that door?

A 4-walled, sound-echoing room? A maze? Or ... an indefinite fall into never-land?

I gained courage in dealing with situations, but I lost confidence in dealing with them too, if you get what I mean. It's like learning to bake a cake - everytime you fail, you can modify the recipe, willing to try again. However, you'll never see it succeeding, until you finally succeed.

As I have expected, it's really leading to no where. I'll just sleep.

Good Night.

Apologies to those I've told I'm going to bed, but I'm still wide awake actually.